My Top 10 Favorite Christmas Movies : You're Opinion Doesn't Matter

I was up last night watching some Christmas movies and decorating a tree and I felt as festive as ever.  Standing there drinking my delicious merlot (well 20% cab, 80% merlot, but you get the point), untangling God only knows how many beaded decorations for the tree and trying to enjoy a newer favorite christmas movie all at once.  It got me thinking, and I'm pretty sure I have never done a top 10 favorite Christmas movies.  So here it is:

10. It's a Wonderful Life - I like this movie a lot.  More than anything, it's nostalgic enough to remind me of Christmas and the feeling of Christmas when I watch it.  It's a great movie for perspective.  I'm not delving in too deep here, but it's a great movie and will always make my list. Even if I have it so low.

9. Scrooged - Inevitably, Bill Murray is going to make any list I make. This is one of my favorite movies of his.  His character is so awful and self-centered that for a moment I let myself believe that's really how Bill Murray is.  I laugh every time I see this movie and Bobcat Goldthwait still makes me nervous with a shot gun.

8. Love Actually - A few years ago this would have been much higher on my list.  I used to adore this movie.  I love all the actors in it, like most of the actresses in it ( I still hate you Keira and the music is great throughout, but it's slowly slipping out of my grip.  I love this movie.  I truly do, but it's just starting to get on my nerves a bit.  It's on the list, but it better be careful.

7. The Holiday - Unlike Love Actually, this movie is growing on me quite a bit.  I never would have thought I could like a somewhat subdued Jack Black character so much, but I did.  I feel in love with Jude Law in this movie (damn English charm) and KW was adorable.  I still think Cam D. could never have been casted for this movie but what movie don't I feel that way about that she's in?  Charming story, awesome coats and clothes, and some ridiculously cute British girl accents... how could I not have this on here?

6. White Christmas -  I feel like most everyone reading this might be surprised to see this so much higher on the list than It's a Wonderful Life. Here's the thing, I don't care.  It's a better movie to me.  I love the music.  I think it's one of the prettiest musicals/music filled movies of all time.  Danny Kaye's character Phil is one of my favorites ever.  Crosby kills as per-usual and the theatrics of it are just outstanding.

5. Serendipity - It's got Nick Drake - Northern Sky in it! That's all I have to say! Not true, but that's good enough for me.  John and Kate, gotta love that. The story is fun and playful.  Jeremy Pivaen playing his normal roll, and me still loving it.  And if you don't love Lars Hammond you are stupid. Great movie, just wish John would have a different haircut in the entire movie.

4. Home Alone - You are on drugs if you thought this wasn't going to be on here.  This was one of my favorite movies growing up, no matter what the season.  It's every kid's worst nightmare mixed with every kid's dream situation. I love watching Daniel Stern act like an idiot because it's so believable.  The stuff Kevin gets away with in this movie is awesome and I wish I would have thought of it myself.

3. Elf - So from here out 3 and 2 mine as well be the same for me.  I was a freshman in college when this came out.  I went to go see it with my friends Mike, Evan and Amanda.  All of hume of 6'2 and enormous.  We went in hearing it was hilarious and great and all that jazz but we were all skeptical.  We were also in terrible moods and almost didn't go.  Thanks Evan.  Anyway we went in and laughed like little school girls throughout the whole movie.  We actually left singing christmas songs while skipping and holding hands.  It obviously made the list.

2. Christmas Vacation - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9t_AIygiG8  That link says it all folks.  One of the funniest most awkward scenes ever.  I love you Chevy Chase, I love you.

1. A Christmas Story -  This is kind of unfair really.  I have this as my favorite on a few accounts.  1. I can't get past the fact that this is a movie that's an annual staple for the Camp boys.  We have our "A Christmas Story Marathon Contest" every year, it's legendary people!  It has grown to become a part of me.  2. I quote this movie on a daily basis, daily! Not one day goes by with out a quote. 3. It's with out a doubt the greatest narrated movie of all time, beating the likes of Apocalypse Now, American Beauty and any Winnie the Pooh movie! And lastly, it's just the best Christmas movie ever.  It's cute, it's funny and in someway we have all had this experience in our lives.

Enjoy and/or destroy if you must.

Snow Bunny

Man a live it is cold out there!  I just walked to the store and I can't believe how frigid it feels.  I love it.  Winter just stares you in the eye, begging for you to try and bundle up as much as possible, and ruins you.  I love that feeling.  The first really really really cold moment of winter.  The one that after an hour of preparation and thought still takes your breath away.

I managed to get over my hysterically dramatic pause outside my house and continued walking, but it only made it worse (better).  I had a snotcicles(icicle of snot) and beardcicles all over my face.  My eyes were as glossy as a newly polished vase, and my lips looks like I had eaten a basket of blueberries.  It was that freakin' cold people!

The best part is that I did all of this for a few item : Doritos, Milk, Bread, Cheez-Its and Rice.

In retrospect I could have probably waited to do that until I had a reason to be outside in this frozen tundra, but I'm glad I got it out of my system.  I am prepared to be a snow bunny from this point on. Take that Winter... or at least consider it and be kind please.

Beauty and the Beast

I don't think Belle was that upset when she came to the realization that she was being courted (stalked and obsessed over) by two guys.  I'm sure it was flattering and exhilarating to know that a tremendously talented and successful gentleman was attracted to her, and in some fantasy-fulfilling bestiality she also found it intriguing to be pursed by a wild beast.

I'm not here to judge her or condemn her for her positions on animal/human relations.  I hear of people enjoying there livestock, household pets and dead mice all too often.  I truly can't think of a time in which I had considered having an intimate relationship with my dog Verlie, or looked at my family cat Holly and thought to myself, "I feel the tension and I have to show you how I feel."  But to each their own right?

Let me be the first to congratulate Disney on their foresight and forward thinking.  I don't think anyone was really willing to take the plunge and make a movie about this topic.  With so much attention being made to gay marriage, people have somehow forgotten about our fuzzy little friends and their fuzzy little friends.

The craziest thing (most shocking) is that at the end of the day, the beast wins out.  She picked the family dog (who's wicked rich mind you.... another topic all together) over the real dude.  This brings to attention the question of, is it better with animals than humans?  Belle's choice has brought me to a state that I don't know if I can handle.  Should I just go through with it and see if Charlie (my roommates dog) and I have something we can share.  Can his fuzzy little body really be better than a human?

I might not ever know the answer to this question, but I have seen that you can be happy slow dancing with large animals. I have seen that when you dress them up they are pretty freak'n cute.  But as a lover, can I trust my dog to still shake my hand when I tell him too, without expecting a little more than a "treat" in return?

How to Love Being Sick

I hate it!  I can't stand it, and there's no way to stop it from happening.  Getting sick is the worst!  The feeling of absolute worthlessness and being so pathetic. You groan every three seconds in anguish over just one too many coughs.  I hate not being able to smell my coffee in the morning or tasting my dinner that took an hour to make. Everyone wants the same thing, relief!

I hate being sick just as much as the next guy, but I found a way to get the most out of being sick and still keep your sanity.  A way to somehow smile and laugh while blowing your Niagara-nose all day/night long. The secret is simple: get your girlfriend sick too!

Granted, I still firmly believe that she was the reason for this lowly state (she had a soar throat first after all).  Don't get me wrong, being sick and having to share it with someone can be so depressing and horrible that it alone can debilitate the most savory and loving of people down to their core.  I lucked out.  I got to laugh and make fun of someone who felt exactly the same way I did.

However there are some rules to live by while being sick with someone else (especially a significant others).  For instance, there is no good time to remind them of how sick they look.  This would seem obvious to many, but I have a feeling a few of you might utter these words: "Wow, you look like shit babe."  Another rule to remember is to never doubt how badly the other one is feeling.  Just because you never felt that bad, doesn't mean they don't feel a million times worse.  Lastly, be as helpful as you possibly can be.  Even if you feel like crap, be sure to make it your job and responsibility to make it easier for them while trying to recover.  It's not easy being helpful when you feel worthless, but take my advise, it helps. Getting sick is no fun, but that doesn't mean you can have fun while being sick.

Like I said, I hate being sick and I don't want to be sick, but if I'm going to be, I know a great way to get through it.  Find the one you care about the most and pull them down in there with you.

The Consummation of a Tradition : Tradition Meets Fruition

It's November again. Another Autumn rolls through me like the cool breeze it brings.  I become focused on family, as many do, and let the warmth of hot cider flow over me.  It's that time of year, the time where we all  begin to think about our families, our friends and our lives.

We're a week away from the most pleasant day on the calendar.  Every body is a 'yes-man'.  Excuse me flows out of mouths like it's air, and we all practice the many different ways we'll be saying thank you. There's an attitude of compassion that supersedes any other day.  Children are cuter, people are funnier and turkey never tastes better.

This Thanksgiving brings about it a new consequence of time to my attention.  A new realization that won't be so pleasantly welcome.  I know as much as anyone, that all good things will come to an end.  I know that in time there will be difficulties and frailties that will captivate my heart, turning it into some fatigued ball.  I feel it happening again this Thanksgiving.

This will be my first Thanksgiving with out the most unbelievably funny, kind-hearted and humble man I have ever known to exist. The diehard Red Wings fan that never let anything get in the way of a quick nap. I'm talking about my Grandfather, Charles "Pop-Pop" Kittredge. A constant fixture in my Thanksgiving scheduling. 

Just about every other year my family would make a trip through the Smokey Mountains and into the foothills of good ol' Greenville, South Carolina.  That's my home.  That's where I was born.  They have Taco Casa people! I don't even eat Mexican food, but if you had their cinnamon chips you would understand.  Inevitably my Dad and I would attend the Turkey Bowl game at BJU (it's soccer so don't try to understand), where with out fail my Dad would run into a million people singing is Turkey Bowl praise. And as much as I love watching soccer with unfamiliar friends and a brother or two, there was nothing like the dinner with Graig and Sarah's family, Pop-Pop and Ginny and Steve and Laura.  There are more arguments and laughs at this dinner than any other: Easter being a close second.

The one memory I keep revisiting is the last Thanksgiving I spent down in South Carolina with my family.  After secluding ourselves to a table, my younger brothers and I began to think of ways that we were going to cut through the awkwardness that was our extended family.  There was a glimpse of hope though.  I had a brought soccer ball and I was pretty sure that off in the distance there lay a shining oval shaped something that I could only pray was a football.  Alex and I were on the same page, and Andrew lay there like a slug: it was his only defense.  We begin to kick the ball around when my cousin Clint came out and wanted the play catch.  Not too long after that came Andrew and Pop-Pop.  We played keep away and catch for about an hour, if not longer.  Pop-Pop throwing frozen ropes that left blood-colored ball marks in our hands. There was no great words or loving hugs, just goofy blonde guys looking like the barely athletic footballers we are.  This is what I will miss the most.  The normal, 'could happen at anytime' moments that in my mind seemed so perfect.. 

At the end of the day, when I'm done whining and complaining, there will be some traditions that are withheld (no matter if I want to or not): time will accomplished another minute's life-force, and I will still be thankful this Thanksgiving.  When met with the painful truths that life brings me, it is all too easy to brush them aside with the joy of memories I could only be so lucky to have experienced.  I truly can be nothing less than thankful, and gladly accept it into my heart.

Curiosity that Cured the Cat

If you're not too familiar with me, you might not know that I'm a self-proclaimed know-it-all.  I love learning and I love to know things that you don't.  I grew up in a family that exuded proficient skills in useless knowledge and told-ya-so practices. We are everyone's empty feeling of intellectual anguish (or so we think).

Over time I would learn to curb my ravenous hunger for correctness.  I would see myself blossom into somewhat of a courteous and quieted voice in conversation.  Yet, my desire for information increased and multiplied again and again and again.

As I danced through the endless corridors of intellectual possibility, there presented itself a new opportunity. A female had wandered her enchanting blue eyes into my view.  Her siren's song leading me into the rocks and shores of reality that I'm too certain I will not survive.  I keep thinking to myself, "enjoy the intrigue, enjoy the pursuit, enjoy what you can learn about her and yourself."  So I will.

Time would pass and I would become enchanted by this de rigueur vixen's every movement.  This is wear my curiosity comes back to bit me.  In the rigors of growing and knowing one another one must open themselves up and poor honesty out like water to a thirsting heart. But, there is something to be said for being too honest.

What I have learned is that honesty is by far the best policy, but it should be made clear to what limits you will take that honesty.  I had had a conversation that I more than willingly condemn and despise (that makes two of us).  I learned things I didn't want to know and I said things I really shouldn't say. No one was hurt, but everyone left with the same feeling of filth draped across  their bodies.

What I've learned is that although I will always be a curious person, there are somethings I just don't need to know.  There are things I shouldn't have to consider and there are definitely things that are better off left unsaid. You live, you learn, you regret learning, you never forget.  I just don't need to know it all.

Not So Fast

Recently I have found myself neglecting my writing.  I haven't been busy.  I've had hundreds of new moments to explore and regurgitate to all that are willing to read it.  I have been through a complex cocktail of emotion, but not one new post in way too long.

After a lot of thinking... meditating... wondering, I'm still not certain what caused this climactic disconnect. The desire has been there, but neglect found it's way in, pushing desire further and further.  Over the course of weeks, I realized a part of me needed this.  There's something about writing that makes some tiny, minuscule part of my brain feel a sense of relief. 

So what do you write about now that you've finally decided to write again?  Funny enough, it would be writing about writing.  Yes, I am aware that it is terribly redundant and disappointing, but it's happening and I'm not gonna stop now.

Only in Amer-ica (you know how it's said)

Americans live in an unrivaled state of opportunity.  We have the world at our fingertips.  I love that.

From time to time I do get a little frustrated with the state of this country, and now and again I do find myself thinking, " Come on reeeeally America?", but I can never take away the great land of opportunity.

We have afforded the ability to want nice things... to enjoy the nicer things in life... to be choosers and not beggars, right?

And this is why Americans have it good.  The other day I had just finished dinner and began walking around Indianapolis.  I walk through an alley I'm familiar with (it's near where I work) and I see the "American-Dream" right in front of me.  I couldn't quite understand what I was looking at but it didn't matter, it was happening. There he was in all his glory, a homeless guy drinking Corona with a lime in it.

It's not every day you get to enjoy this kind of present from above.  I was most amazed by the fact that he was 3 beers into the 6 pack of Corona and each beer on the ground had a lime in it!

Corona is about $9 for a 6 pack, give or take where you're purchasing it.  He could have bought a lot more alcohol for the money he spent on that beer. That homeless George Hamilton decided on taste over sensation... or even frugalness... or maybe someone gave him them?  Either way it was hilarious and he was simply in heaven... or he was drinking beer and getting wasted alone in an alley.

I don't know, but God bless Amer-ica.

Good Music in Movies

I have decided to take my entry for todays post in a differet direction.  I have been thinking (a lot) about music and movies and the way the two corrilate so well (some of the time). Sometimes I can't listen to a song without thinking of a particular movie.  So, I will write my all time top 20 songs in movies.

20.  The Pixies - Where Is My Mind : Fight Club

19.  Clint Mansell - Lux Aeterna : Requiem for a Dream

18.  Guster - I Hope Tomorrow is Like Today : Wedding Crashers

17.  311 - Love Song : 50 First Dates

16. Herman's Hermits - Something Tells Me I'm Into Something Good: The Naked Gun : From the Files of Police Squad

15. Jeff Buckley - Last Goodbye : Vanilla Sky

14. Massive Attack - Angel : Snatch

13. Weezer - Suzanne : Mallrats

12. The Cowsills - The Rain, The Park and Other Things : Dumb and Dumber

11. Nico - These Days : The Royal Tenenbaums

10. Elliott Smith - Because : American Beauty

9. Radiohead - Talk Show Host: Romeo & Juliet

8. Soggy Bottom Boys & Danny Timinski - I am a Man of Constant Sorrow : O Brother, Where Art Thou?

7. The Beatles - Twist and Shout : Ferris Bueller's Day Off

6.  Rufus Wainwright - Hallelujah : Shrek

5.  The Wonders - That Thing You Do : That Thing You Do

4.  Seal - Kissed by a Rose : Batman Forever

3.  Bobby Brown - On Our Own : Ghostbusters II

2.  Whitney Houston - I Will Always Love You : The Body Guard

1.  Audrey Hepburn -  La vie en Rose  : Sabrina

Let the discussion begin.

Drink Up

People are a fickle sort.  Boasting about like proud bucks.  They doe lie there waiting listening to lies, impressed merely by the bucks vocal endowment.

The herd moves in circles looking for a mate, the scent is in the air.  The many come and seek a drink, whilst seldom coming prepared with thirst.  The herd looks ready, it's time to strike, but the herd is no match. 

The stag they seek is not quite stagnant, and move with much quicker feet. This herd hates the weak and leave them there to fend.

In the end the herd was playing a simple game.  As natural and real as it might seem, just to find it was merley a simple game of catch.

Fight Fire with Fire or Louder Bass

It's been a fun filled week at the Camp/Whiting household.  We've both found ourselves fighting for control of, dun-dun-duuuuuh (dramatic scary music... you know the type), silence.  Better yet, a battle of who can be the loudest, with our very own new kids on the block.

Last weekend a young couple moved in the split duplex attached to our house, and with them they brought their lovely children.  I don't mind the children's constant crying or really how loud the kids are in general.  However there is something I do mind.

I love hip-hop as most people know.  In fact just last night I was listening to Talib, Mos and The Roots... at a reasonable level in my room.  I say this because after a day of moving the couple next door decides to play Drake (who I can't stand) as loudly as I'm assuming they possibly could at 12:45am!  Who does that?  I'm  thinking to myself, they're probably trying to relax and chill after a long day of moving so I'll let it go.  Or should I say, they let it go, and go, and go until 5am! I don't mind too much though.  I have enough trouble sleeping so why not add loud bass to the mix.

The next day roles around and at roughly 9am the music starts again.  I'm thinking, not only did you only sleep 4 hours, but you can't do anything with out music playing.... loudly!  I go over to knock on the door and ask them if they would turn it down, no answer at the door.  So I knock harder, and same exact result.  They're ignoring me.  It's ok though.  They're probably still moving stuff.  Understandable, I can deal with it.

Let us flash forward to last night.  It's been a week.  The music constantly thumping and my head following right behind.  I am getting ready to watch Sunday Night Football.  My Cowboys are playing against the Dead-Skins.  I'm getting pumped.  The pre-game show has started, I have my longhorns belt-buckle on, I'm 3 Sam Adam's Oktoberfest into it and my Dallas Cowboy D-hat (like Tony) on ready to go... aaaaand it begins.  The music is turned up to an ungodly volume.  The kind that shook the whole house.  I have to turn the tv up as loud as possible just to hear it.  It's on.

I continue to watch the game and it's fine.  Not the best result and the music was eventually done before the game and I settled.  Irritated and obviously distraught I came up with a plan.

Everybody hates Mondays.  No one wants their weekend to end, let a lone wake up early.  Let's help these noise-nazis love their Monday.

It's been a long held tradition of mine to vacuum at 7:21 in the morning ever Monday... or at least for about 8 hours.  Also, for about that same time-frame, I will listen to 311 - 311 (self titles) and Deftones - White Pony as loudly as I can.  Obviously, so I can hear it over the vacuum, duh.

Many of you might find this to be petty and immature.  Believe me it is.

I have taken all measure possible before sinking to this barbaric and juvenile gorilla tactic.  I've called the landlord.  Nothing.  I've tried to get a hold of the neighbors.  Nothing.  At some point we must protect ourselves... or in this case be a complete and utter ass.

I feel no remorse for my actions.  If need be I'll pull out the big guns;  NIN, Tool, and Busta Rhymes.  I'm hoping it doesn't come to that, but if it does, I will have the cleanest carpets in all of Indianapolis.

A Love Story

Let's just start off by saying I am a sucker for love.  I see a puppy and I love it.  I hear a funny joke and I love it.  I am easily swept off my feet (granted I'm terribly uncoordinated) and find myself fumbling around once again. 

The funny thing is I have known of this love for a while.  I have thought about it and set it aside, thinking it was a curious infatuation or maybe intrigue at best.  I could not have been more wrong. I thought to myself, this can't work.  The distance between us is far to great and I can't go with out seeing you like this.  I have done the long distance relationship thing before and I am not made for that. But maybe this time it could be different?

I have known for awhile that I can not fight how I feel any longer.  I keep trying to ignore my heart but it keeps beating harder and harder.  As I wait and wait, I find out that you have come closer, you are so close to me. I don't want to love you only through our convenience!  But your taste so damn good Panda Express and I never want to let you go!

Good Friends...a Cigar...a Bum...and Handcuffs

I would like to think I have an appreciation for the finer things in life.  I love a good cigar, a good scotch-whisky or bourbon and nice clothes.  The only thing that could make that combination better, would be good company.  Sometimes I'm just lucky enough to have all of those.  This weekend would offer that kind of luck.

This past weekend I was attending a close friend's wedding.  It was a beautiful wedding.  Everyone was looking great.  People were laughing, catching up and enjoying the short time we had with one another.  I had a few cigars I had bought from earlier in the night, and I naturally asked a few guys if they wanted to step outside.  They couldn't turn it down.

We excused ourselves from the reception and sat at a table outside.  I set my double old fashion glass down and begin to light my cigar.  We sit there for a while, exchanging pleasantries and begin reminiscing about the past.  A older gentleman walks towards us and he locks eyes with me... he's coming over... he wants money.  He was homeless and wanted to talk to us.  Actually, to be more accurate, he wanted to tell us jokes.

He walks up and says, " Hey fellas, my name is Greg, and I'm not a bum.  I work for my money.  So here's the thing, how's about I tell you 3 jokes I made up and if you guys like'm you give me a dollar?"  My friend Shane says, " Let me warn you buddy, these two guys (points to Justin and myself) know every joke, so you better have funny ones."  Greg turns to him and says, " I guaranty you'll laugh.  I made'm up and they good."  I tell him, " Old Gory (that's what his shirt said), I got a better deal, you tell us a joke and  I'll tell one after you, and if mine is funnier than yours, you owe me a dollar."  He said, "No problem" and proceeded to tell the joke.

"Alright guys, what do 5 black guys call an old white man?"  Not a single second goes by before Justin spouts out, "Coach!... get the hell out of here bro!"  We lost it.  I understand this is a homeless guy.  I understand that we were sitting there while he wanted something.  I also understand he lied about making up a joke... thus they laughter.

So I turn to the guy and tell my joke.  "Two gerbils are walking by a gay bar.  One gerbil turns to the other and says, ' Hey, you wanna get wasted tonight?' The other gerbil turns to the other one and says, 'I don't know, you feel like getting shit-faced?'"  The guys lost it.  I told him, "You owe me a dollar my friend."  He walked away.

Everything was back to normal and my friends and I are enjoying ourselves once again.  Suddenly there is a Dept. Sheriff walking towards us in mid-conversation.  My friend Justin turns to him, as if he was coming to join our conversation and says, " What did Michael Jackson die from?"  The officer says, "I have no clue.  What was going on with the guy you were talking to?  What was he doing?"  We all said he was just trying to tell jokes and get money.  The officer than says, " That's not the story he's telling me."  My friend Blake says, " What is he saying?"  The officer says, " He says he gave you guys some stuff?"  Shane says, "Like drugs?"  I say, " You're joking right?  The only thing he gave us was a lesson on why we shouldn't do drugs.  Not to mention, if I was going to buy drugs, do you honestly think I would buy them from a bum?"  The officer turned to me and said, "That's a good point.  Have a nice night guys."  And he walks away.

Later I would find out the bum was caught smoking crack next to where we were and told the Dept. that we bought some of his crack from him.

This was only the beginning of one of the craziest nights of my life.

It's always fun to enjoy good company, good drinks, good cigars and great stories... aaaaand the occasional bum who lies about selling drugs, while telling bad jokes to a group of old friends at a wedding reception.

Shiny Happy People Holding Hands?

I've been lucky enough to live in the "beautiful" city of Indianapolis for quite sometime now.  It's a comfortable city, with little to nothing to do most of the time.  Everyone has  the same routines, everyone says the same thing and just about everyone is wearing some form of Colt's fan-garb on a daily basis.  It's just another Midwest city with Midwest personality. 

One thing I have always loved about this area is the lack of diversity you see in the city.  Not that there are not multi-ethnic people groups or social classes, because Indianapolis has an enormous amount of international influence and personality.  But with all differences there is still a stylistic similarity.   Everyone looks like a "Hoosier"... except a few.

This leads me to my point.  I was walking around Monument Circle the other evening when low-and-behold I see it.  I forgot they even exist.  I was wondering how it could be possible, but quickly I dismissed that notion and began observing.  Yes, you guessed it; two (count'em two!) orange-tan, fake-n-bake, rub on/spray tanners during Summer!

What causes this phenomena?  Here's the most impressive part, it was a husband and wife.  They both wake up every day thinking, "I'm so glad I married this Oompa-Loompa."  They glowed down the street in the setting sun like two ripe pumpkins waiting for Cinderella's magical transformation.

As  they walked along I couldn't help but think to myself, "How does this happen?  How can people like this or make an effort to do this?"  It created quite a problem for me.  Why do we do these things to ourselves?  I wanted to sit and laugh, but I couldn't.  We are all guilty.  No matter how much we might love something, someone else will look at it with the cool deep disdain of a bankrupt Ebenezer Scrooge.

I know we can't expect to hold back all the time.  Sometimes we see those shiny (literally) happy people walking around and our initial reaction is to laugh but maybe our first reaction should be, observe or ignore or forget?... who am I kidding, when you have orange skin, it's always laugh!

The Storm

I hear the sound of thunder crashing closely to the earth, I witness new creations, like flowers blooming in new birth. I cast a million stones across an endless sea of black, the stones will land submersed in sand halting their attack.


I hear the sound of thunder crashing and I’m no longer there, the water stained shadow of someone drenched in my chair. The forecast calls for rain today as it did the year before, strong winds will blow and before you’ll know, you’re soaked down to your core.

I hear the sound of thunder crashing faintly in my ear. I see it’s time the storms will pass but slowly, sticking near. I feel the moisture of the ground in every step I’ve found, I see regret in leaves unset strewed across the storm trodden ground.

I hear the sound of thunder crashing softly in my mind. I remember storms of epic scale still locked up and confined. I see the wreckage lying there as useless as before. I turn my head and look instead, to the storm outside my door.

The Bastard in the Bow Tie

I wake up just about the same way every single day.  I hear my neighbor coughing and smoking on his porch, while I lie there warmly nurtured by my sheets.  I look at my alarm hoping I have more time to spare my tired eyes, but tragically I have merely a blink of a moment before Human by The Killers startles me into action. 

I basically except that my day is going to filled with the same landscape, the same rarely fulfilling interactions with people and the occasion faux laugh to help my "positive" nature to seem somewhat grounded.  There are no big surprises. I woke up today feeling that that was my horoscope, until I found a box on my porch.

The box was from FedEx and was addressed to Mr. C. Adam Camp. "That's me!", I thought to myself. But I wasn't expecting anything.  I take the box inside and it's three Ralph Lauren Polo bow ties.  The kind of bow ties that when worn properly transform you from geek-to-chic no matter how you wear them :)  There was a small letter explaining how they ended up at my house.  A member from the club I work at had overheard me clamoring on about my love for bow ties and the way they looked.  He found out my address and sent me them as a "pick me up present."  Could not have worked any better.

Do you even know how to tie a bow tie?  If not, let me assure you it can be one of the most frustrating things you will ever do.  I under estimated the power of a bow tie.  I looked up some videos on YouTube and checked out the Brooks Brothers website, but these places weren't getting it done for me.  I spent roughly 30 min trying to follow these guys from South Carolina, but every time he said the word "cinch" I was thinking, "cinch, like tighter, hold it, cross it again, simple, easy...I'm lost?", and I realized it was a lost cause.

Then it hit me, it's like riding a bike.  Most of the time that expression means; you just have to start doing something you have done before.  It just might take a minute to remember how.  I have always had a different take. Now in this case I had never tied a bow tie, so I wasn't remembering how to do something I had done before.  However, I taught myself how to ride a bike, that's where the saying has a different meaning.  The phrase is inspiring to me.  This is wear my day became fun again.  It's like opening up another present.  I started to think about it, with the limited information I had. I tried again...not quite there.  I tried and tried and triiii-I got it! I was so excited I didn't take it off for the next 3 hours.  I had no place to be and had no reason to keep it on, other than an outrageously long victory lap on my couch.

Sometimes the best gifts are unexpected; in this case both gifts were exactly that.  Now all that is left for this bastard in a bow tie is finding a place he can wear it.

The Voyage Begins

The champaign has been smashed, my mast is tied and I'm off across the digital waters that many surfed before me.  I'm a little late to the party, but that won't hasten my fervor.  I have been under the influence of many books, blogs, songs etc., and decided I wanted to contribute (detour) others as well.

I have long been one for passionate debate on sports and more-so a sportsaholic to many, but I would like to make this step away from my most devious obsession and begin a new one.

I always enjoyed reading and writing but never really wanted to share my writing.  I understand I'm not the most gifted, I'm not the most interesting and I'm certainly not the most fun, but I want to learn how to become one if not most of those to someone out there.  This "adventure" is an exploration into my thoughts on life, music, movies and myself (don't be surprised if I do cave and talk about sports).  I am not looking to create another journal for readers to bemoan.  I will write. You will read. Hopefully we will all learn.

I hope you will enjoy my blog and will be able to be apart of it.  Let me know your thoughts, your beliefs and your opinions.  Come aboard and enjoy the voyage with me.